I have always struggled to see the line, the place where you can clearly see the difference in what Fall is going through. Is she manipulating us? Is she just throwing a fit? Her reaction to stress has been this total loss of control, and not in an angry, hitting, screaming way. She loses any control of her body and just sobs, and cries out loudly. The part that makes me feel the most awful is my reaction to it. I just want it to stop. The feelings her meltdowns evoke in me are a combination of sadness, frustration, and this part makes me feel guilty, but anger. I get mad. Maybe it is because I have been through so many, and it was such a constant in our house for so many years that my tolerance has run its course. This mommy guilt is horrible to deal with. No one gives you instructions on how to handle a kid that loses her cool and literally does not "Come back" for hours. I have had my fair share of negative feelings (and comments from others), and I have to live with those. What I have learned though, is that this isn't your normal parenting experience, you aren't going to feel the normal parenting feelings. The highs and lows of parenting an Aspie, or any child with autism, are intense. We are ALL learning in this house.
Luckily, since we started school and have been given, and sought a lot of therapies, and help we have seen a huge difference in our house. Fall was paired with THE best aide in all the world. She is ABA trained and has been in the field forever, and I mean when I say that she is one of the biggest blessings in Fall's life. She has helped me see the difference in meltdown vs. tantrum, and she has helped Fall learn how to change her reaction in the face of a meltdown inducing moment. Thankfully, meltdowns have gone from an every day, a few times a day occurrence to about once a week (at most). We have some very special people, some therapies that have been amazing, and AGE to thank for this turnaround.
Next time I will talk about what has caused her meltdowns, from a young age to now, at age 7.
Wasn't that site amazing? I LOVED the way it laid out so clearly and I also loved the poster that compared a tantrum to a meltdown. I downloaded that to use in the future!
ReplyDeleteYes! I have seen another post like it, but that one was much more concise. I wish I could show it to a few people.
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